I'm sorry, I never meant for this to turn out this way.
You've been in and out of my thoughts since we met, the stranger who was kinder than neccessary, the confidant I never knew I had. The last thing I thought you would ever be was the romantic interest in my life, and then that became a possibility too. You've been what I wanted before I knew I wanted you, which is what makes this hard.
It shouldn't be this hard to start something or to see if there is something between us. This part should be the easy part.
I'm sorry to do this to you, I know you may not understand and I hope maybe one day you will but until then please respect this, accept this and forgive me. One day we may cross paths again and maybe things will go differently.
I want to you to know you're special to me, and you inspired me more than anyone I've met in the longest time. Thank you for everything.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Love mistakes
They say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...so what do you do after you've lost?
I've been in love a couple of times, I'd say both were big loves though none lasted too long. Each time the relationship ended though it felt as though my heart had been ripped out.
So a new guy has entered the picture, I've battled internally over him for a couple months, just when I am finally ready to be over it and accept that he's not interested in me he drops a bomb that he thinks there may be something between us. Now I'm battling it out in my head once again of does he or doesn't he.
I want to trust him, I want to trust myself to give him a chance. I don't want to get hurt again, so I have barriers and I push him away. I am an idiot.
I like rules and I like can and cannot, with love and relationships there is very little can versus cannot and there basically are no rules, after all they say all's fair in love and war right?
So I asked him to meet with me to talk, he said yeah sure, it's a start right. Maybe I can undo some of what I've done but I'm going to have to break my own rules to do it, and it scares me to death.
I've been in love a couple of times, I'd say both were big loves though none lasted too long. Each time the relationship ended though it felt as though my heart had been ripped out.
So a new guy has entered the picture, I've battled internally over him for a couple months, just when I am finally ready to be over it and accept that he's not interested in me he drops a bomb that he thinks there may be something between us. Now I'm battling it out in my head once again of does he or doesn't he.
I want to trust him, I want to trust myself to give him a chance. I don't want to get hurt again, so I have barriers and I push him away. I am an idiot.
I like rules and I like can and cannot, with love and relationships there is very little can versus cannot and there basically are no rules, after all they say all's fair in love and war right?
So I asked him to meet with me to talk, he said yeah sure, it's a start right. Maybe I can undo some of what I've done but I'm going to have to break my own rules to do it, and it scares me to death.
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